How Extramarital Affairs Impact Divorce and Custody Proceedings in New York

When a marriage ends due to infidelity, emotions run high. Spouses who have been betrayed often wonder whether their partner's affair will affect the divorce settlement or custody arrangements. While it's natural to hope that the court will hold the unfaithful spouse accountable, the legal reality in New York is more nuanced than many people expect. In this post, a Syracuse divorce attorney explains what you need to know.

New York's No-Fault Divorce Law

New York has been a no-fault divorce state since 2010, which fundamentally changed how courts handle divorce proceedings. Under no-fault divorce, couples can dissolve their marriage simply by stating that the relationship has been "irretrievably broken" for at least six months. This means you don't need to prove wrongdoing, including adultery, to obtain a divorce.

While adultery remains a legally recognized ground for divorce in New York, most couples now proceed under the no-fault provision because it's simpler, faster, and less emotionally taxing than litigating fault-based claims.

Does Adultery Affect Property Division?

In most cases, an extramarital affair has minimal impact on how marital property is divided. New York follows the principle of equitable distribution, meaning assets are divided fairly (though not necessarily equally) based on various factors outlined in Domestic Relations Law § 236. These factors include the length of the marriage, each spouse's income and property, the age and health of both parties, and each spouse's contribution to marital assets.

However, there are limited circumstances where adultery might indirectly affect property division. If a spouse spent significant marital funds on an affair, paying for gifts, trips, or maintaining a separate residence for a paramour, the court may consider this "dissipation of marital assets." In such cases, the innocent spouse might receive a larger share of the remaining marital property to compensate for these expenditures.

The Impact on Spousal Maintenance (Alimony)

Adultery can potentially play a more significant role in spousal maintenance determinations, though its impact is still limited. When deciding whether to award maintenance and in what amount, New York courts consider numerous factors, including "any act by the party seeking maintenance that so shocks the conscience of the court as to compel its consideration."

While adultery alone rarely rises to this level, courts have occasionally considered it alongside other egregious conduct. More commonly, if the affair involved substantial financial misconduct, such as transferring marital funds to a paramour, this could influence maintenance awards.

That said, the primary factors in maintenance decisions remain economic: the income and property of each spouse, the length of the marriage, the age and health of both parties, and the standard of living established during the marriage.

Child Custody: The Best Interests Standard

This is perhaps the most important area for parents to understand: in New York, extramarital affairs typically have little to no impact on child custody decisions. The court's sole focus in custody matters is the best interests of the child, not the moral conduct of the parents.

The best interests standard considers factors such as each parent's ability to provide for the child's physical and emotional needs, the quality of the home environment, each parent's willingness to foster a relationship with the other parent, the child's relationship with each parent, and any history of domestic violence or substance abuse.

An affair, by itself, doesn't demonstrate that a parent is unfit or unable to care for their children. Unless the extramarital relationship directly affects the children's wellbeing, for example, if a parent exposes children to inappropriate situations, neglects parental responsibilities due to the affair, or introduces numerous romantic partners into the children's lives in a destabilizing way, courts generally view it as irrelevant to custody determinations.

When Adultery Might Matter in Custody Cases

While rare, there are scenarios where an affair could indirectly influence custody. If a parent's relationship causes them to neglect their children or compromise their safety, this could affect custody. For instance, if a parent frequently leaves young children unsupervised to spend time with a romantic partner, or exposes children to dangerous situations or inappropriate conduct, the court will consider this evidence of poor judgment. Similarly, if a parent introduces a string of romantic partners to the children or moves quickly to cohabitate with someone new, demonstrating instability, a judge might weigh this when determining what arrangement serves the children's best interests.

The Bottom Line

While discovering a spouse's infidelity is deeply painful and often feels like it should have legal consequences, New York's family courts are primarily concerned with practical matters: fair distribution of assets, appropriate financial support, and the wellbeing of children. Adultery alone rarely changes the outcome of these issues significantly.

That said, every divorce case is unique, and the specific circumstances surrounding an affair—particularly any financial misconduct or impact on children—could be relevant to your situation. An experienced family law attorney can help you understand how the facts of your case might play out in court and develop a strategy that protects your interests and those of your children.

Contact a Syracuse Divorce Attorney Today

If you're considering divorce or have questions about how your spouse's conduct might affect your case, we encourage you to schedule a consultation. We can provide personalized guidance based on your specific circumstances and help you navigate this challenging time with clarity and confidence. Contact our office today for a free confidential consultation with an experienced Syracuse divorce attorney.

For more details on the divorce process please visit our Divorce and Frequently Asked Questions pages

Disclaimer: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Laws and guidelines can change, so always verify with current statutes or a professional.